September 26: "Simple Sewing" Book, Reusable Tote Bag, "Recycle" Bumper Sticker, and Small Bottle of Hand Sanitizer

Thursday, September 27, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:19 AM
Given to Phil from Elena.

Part III: Handblower Nonsense
I'm not sure if you've kept up with my battles with the work toilets that I chronicled in parts I and II.  I turn my attention today to the hand dryer in the work bathroom.

Let's go over some basic definitions first.
wet- something that has moisture
dry- something that lacks wetness or moisture

Therefore, a dryer would remove wetness from a person's hands.  The dryer at work generates no discernible amount of heat and basically just pushes the water from your hands and onto the tile underneath its discharge vent.  I've held my hands underneath the "dryer" for as long as three minutes and there was no temperature change.  There's a bright blue light that illuminates your hands as you do it, which I guess is a bonus.  You leave the bathroom with clammy hands and not feeling confident at all that your hands are clean.  It's really easier just to spritz your hands with some Purell or simply hold it until you get home later that afternoon.

-Profession: Electrical Engineer

-Favorite football position: Offensive Tackle

-Dr. Phil said which of the following?:
[A] Your rose-colored glasses could use a cleaning!
[B] I've seen jellyfish get out of a relationship faster than you!
[C] You're acting like bananas on a pb on rye!
[D] Don't make me put your head in my blender!

I'd say it's probably [A].  [Actually, it's D]

-If someone fanatically liked the way you lied, what would they be called?:  Gullible?  [How about Phil-lie Fanatic]

-Phil Niekro was a Hall of Fame knuckleball pitcher.  What did one player say hitting his knuckeball was like?:
[A] eating soup with a fork
[B] playing Jenga with your elbow
[C] writing your own fortune cookie
[D] buying a woman a sweater vest

I think it's [C].  [It's A]