August 1: Fralinger's Saltwater Taffy (from New Jersey)

Wednesday, August 1, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:04 PM
Given to Britta from Beth.
Attains "laughy" status only after someone tells a fart joke
Today's exchange felt like a therapy session.  Britta was telling me about her various life adventures, including her hanging outside of a Brown Derby Steakhouse to see the band BBMak during the Billboard Music Awards a few years ago.  That band has rightly gone to the deep recesses of my mind until this unwelcome reminder; the entire car ride back to my house featured me on lead vocals for "Back Here".  It's so damn catchy a tune.  Oh God, what has she done?

Then I find out that she's a relentless pun-ner.  Normally, this would just be mildly amusing/mildy-eye-rolling, but another deep-seeded memory surfaced.  Recently, a friend was trying to get my goat (for all of the non-native English speaking audience unfamiliar with that expression, it means "trying to give me a mental wedgie", where a wedgie is getting your underwear all out of sorts).  I told her one more jibe and I would impose a 24-hour pun fine, where I would pun only responses back to her as her "pun-ishment".  Oh God, what have I pun?  After telling me one chuckler, I thought Britta was one-and-pun, but she reeled off so many clever word plays, I felt overmanned and outpunned.  Thus, I felt like I was placed in the same cage I placed my friend in just a short time ago.  LET ME OUT!!!

Maura and Britta also enjoyed
competitive games of Mancala
-Profession: Pun Evaluator (P.E.)

-Favorite part of a banana split: The layout because it's dirty

-Rather than ask you a question about your PUR-ity or if you have the ability to 'filter' out distractions, could you tell me the number of times you've wanted to find and subsequently pound a wrestling mat after some jackass remarks, upon meeting you, that, "oh, Britta like the filter"?:  6523 times.  I thought it was easier to print a t-shirt that said, "Yes, like the water filter."

-Your dream is to become a Sugardale mascot.  Would you need to train for it like a hot dog eating contestant or an athlete?:  I'm a method actor and while I don't eat meat, I'd try to live out the life of a hot dog with a life spent between blankets.
-Would your family be disappointed that you were just a mystery meat?:  No, not disappointed, though a little afraid.  Mom may cook me in a Thermos on the dash on a long road trip.
-What would your glory be?:  Ketchup is a jerk.  I would like to be victorious over him and to knock him down.

-Maura and Britta are two 4th century Christian martyrs.  Tell me two of their adventures prior to their martyrdom. 
1) they went to the desert to convert people and ended up at an anachronistic beach that was actually a mirage
2) they were on a lifelong adventure not to get the plague