August 14: Decorative Glass Candle Holder

Tuesday, August 14, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 11:38 PM
Given to Paul from Chip.

I went shopping for a new pair of tan pants this evening and I stereotypically went to the Gap.  I hadn't been to the mall for at least a year and a half when I was at the Gap the last time, also shopping for (gray) pants.  It appears that I'm caught in some sort of Gap pant vortex that keeps me connected to shopping malls against my will.  If you're wondering where I get my clothes from--because I do buy new clothes--I will tell you: I get the Maxx for the Minnimum at TJMAXX (it's one more 'x' from becoming a strip club) or their sister store, Marshalls.  On a continuum, here's where I would rank my clothes shopping, from least enjoyable to most enjoyable:

--> strip malls --> shopping malls --> --> Goodwill/Resale shop --> the Maxx/Marshalls

Shopping malls are such depressing places, methinks.  Teenage girls trying too hard, inflated prices that make sales irrelevant, every passerby harangued by fresh college grads at their cell phone kiosks, predictable Hot Topic clothing items, midget trains ferrying kids in a predictable oval, littered candy boxes, make-up counter employees looking bored, the Structure-turned-Express for Men-turned-Hallmark store, and the tired polished granite floor squares that have seen their fair share of Doc Martens soles.  Ah, it's too much.  If you're wondering why I didn't just go to my favorite chains for some pants, well, they didn't have any that looked nice.

-Profession: Special Events/Sales

-Favorite key: The one to my heart

-Paul of Aegina was a Greek surgeon (625-690).  What do you think was his most difficult procedure?:  He had to grow hair on Telly Savalas' head.   It was tragic.

-Saul converted to Christianity and changed his named to Paul (the apostle).  If you, Paul, changed to the DISH network, what would your new name be?:  Gaul.  The Time Warner people would be hurt.   It would take a lot of gall to switch.

 Paul of Aegina grafted all of his hair
onto his chest
-You produce murder mysteries.  What do you think are the top 3 ways to die in one?: 
-1) Have Paul of Aegina work on your hair
-2) Take a monologue of Jerry Seinfeld's and do it front of an audience
-3) Eating the food at wherever the dinner theater is being performed