August 19: University of Chicago Leatherbound Notebook

Monday, August 20, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 1:11 AM
Given to Amy from Mary Beth.

My friends invited me out to a Renaissance Fair today and I think I'm going to need some sort of transition-back-to-reality program to return to regular functioning in society.  For all those of you who haven't had the pleasure, there are a TON of shops with period-themed items--clothing, jewelry, statuary, etc--and a TON of places to eat a lot of meat (you had to be there, but the girl who was with us today accentuated her words extremely well in general, including my favorite "barbecued beef sandwich"; the words just shot off her tongue like little catapulted spears).  Then they have programs that can ooh and aah the crowds--from fire whipping to jousting.  The performers and patrons dress up in period clothing to make it the 16th century version of a Star Trek convention.

With all these period clothes (for the women), there were a lot of boobsicles showing.  I finally understand why men were so insistent on women wearing corsets at the time.  Most of the guys there looked like Neanderthals in their kilts with swords at their sides with more flesh that we'd all care to see, as well as some interesting smells to go around for all.  I think my favorite snapshot of the whole day was one of the women in said corset gnashing on a giant leg of meat.  Nothing says nookie time like tearing off the boiled meat of an animal with your bared teeth.

How Amy fits into this whole deal is she is a friend of a friend of a friend, who I just met today while we strolled around the grounds.  She was a delight to me and I hope a delight to you.

"And can you also feel my eggplant,
good sir?"
-Profession: Landscape Architect

-Favorite water sport: Swimming

-You've spent a lot of time creating and developing community gardens.  Is the experience people have with their fruits and vegetables at the supermarket more sensual than what they have in their garden?:  Not at all.  People love their veggies growing in a way they never imagine.  They're connected.

-Here we are at a Renaissance Fair.  Tell me a good pick-up line from the period: Good Sir, may I have a moment of your time?

-Yesterday you purchased a lawnmower.  How many square feet did you expect to mow with it per use?: Probably 150 x 100 sq. ft.