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| Kyle's remark: "Great, now I've got a place for my tacos!" |
Mind Your Meter
A tragi-comedy in four short acts based on actual events
Cast:
Kyle....as himself, the current parking attendant
Dan....as myself, a day laborer
Angela Merkel....as Angela, the previous parking attendant
Ricky Ricardo....as Ricky, a day laborer who works with Dan
Act I:
Ricky: I don't need to park my car here all day. I'm just lazy and want a shorter walk to my office.
Angela: No problem, Ricky! Stay as long as you want!
Later that day...
Dan: I've got to drop off these large, cumbersome packages to my office. It should take me about 10 minutes. Is it okay if I park in the end spot where all the trash is accumulating?
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| The Joker got away again! |
Act II:
Dan: I'm having an emergency. I really need to use the bathroom. Can I run in and use it?
Angela: You can pull in. Make sure you put your money in the meter.
Act III:
Dan: I'm having Ricky Ricardo's baby!! I'm having contractions!! This baby is coming out!!!
Angela: You can pull in. Make sure you put your money in the meter.
Act IV:
Several months have passed...
Dan: Do you mind if drop off these large lead weights to my office?
Kyle: Yes, of course. Pick any spot. Those look heavy. Here, let me give you a hand.
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| His employer has a work order to make the inside padded |
-Profession: Information Attendant
-Favorite Jay-Z song: Big Pimpin'
-Is there a dignified beauty of having every car in its place in a parking lot?: Absolutely! Some people park cock-eyed and that gets me angry. No one will park next to them and then it throws off everything. I tell people who have a problem not to take their parking frustration out on me.
-A kyle is a Scottish term for a straight--a narrow, typically navigable waterway that connects two larger bodies of water. How would you traverse one?: Either with a six-foot inflatable alligator raft or a refrigerator door, Tom Hanks Castaway style.
-After what period of time in the booth will you lose your marbles and become permanently unable to interact in society again?: Yesterday? Probably another eight months for me. Please check back.
