July 7: Cleveland Cavaliers Basketball

Saturday, July 7, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 3:16 PM
Given to Rod from Terri.

Last year around this time, it was blazing saddles hot with 100 degree temps and humidity that could easily steam-cook your garden swiss chard.  I told my co-worker that in order for me to continue working I needed to get a fun ice cream treat (i.e. Spongebob, Shrek, Sonic the Hedgehog, etc).  I asked a cafeteria worker in our building if there was a place nearby that had any fun on a stick.  She didn't know, but a guy in line named Boyd said he knew of a place close to downtown.  Score!

We googled the place and eagerly drove down.  When we got there, it looked like a front for a drug-dealing operation.  There were a bunch of shady-looking hombres with 5 o'clock shadows in cut-off tee's looking at me and my co-worker like we just walked out of Mayberry.  Naive to their stares, I let my inner monologue loose on the choices available, simultaneously elevating my companion's blood pressure; eventually, I settled on Spidey with bubblegum eyes.

Yesterday, we made a return visit to the joint, which had a cheerier storefront with a new paint job.  A guy came in for a pick-up of dry ice or ice cream and the goods were wrapped in newspaper.  I'd bet my left kneecap that at least two of the bundles had cash or hard drugs wrapped inside the funny pages.

Too much trouble and bad luck...
and it's curtains for Rod
-Profession: Cook

-Favorite Rod Stewart song: Maggie May

-What are you a lightning rod for?:  I attract trouble and bad luck.

-Are you able to see really well at night (by using your 'rods')?:  Yeah, I see pretty well at night.

-How were you able to 'reel' your fiance in?:  I was very funny and charismatic.  I also had a motorcycle, which she thought I looked good on.