I love people's reactions to reading fortune cookie sayings. If they're not applicable in any way (i.e. Your skipping makes people around you think you are wise), you finish munching on the other half of the crescent and are like, "Ehhh, it's just a fortune cookie. What did yours say, Rick?" Then, Rick opens his up and it says something completely spot-on, such as "After stealing pies as a youth, you understand your ways and volunteer at a religious community center, inspiring others." And your friend is like, "No freakin' way, man, I can't believe it." He tucks the fortune is his wallet because of how spot-on it is. You've got 2 months of putting up with him pulling the fortune out at future social events or when you don't have anything to say to each other with 20 minutes left at a restaurant.
-Profession: Hopeful Costco Employee
-Favorite scone: Chocolate Chip
-Do you have a rubber duckey?: No, but I should.
-Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) was a song written by Bennie Hill. What was he fast at?: I would assume delivering milk.
-While waiting for your wife to finish a tour of the pyramids in Egypt, you struck up a conversation with a guard who was carrying a very sizable machine gun. Did you teach the guard to recite, "Say hello to my little friend?": Ha! That would have been good.