December 8: Vendor Prize Pack: Mousepad, Coin Counter, Swag Bag, Hand Sanitizer, Pen/Highlighter, Keychain, Notepad, and Mints

Sunday, December 9, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 8:24 AM
Given to Mike from Ashley.

By my watch, there are 12 days until the apocalypse.  I haven't started my preparations yet, but I've spent some time tonight mulling over what I need to.  Here are my 12 days of Apocalypse, Part 1.  Part 2 will follow on Monday:

12) Get a pedicure.  I figure if I've gotta go before my time, my feet ought to look good.

11) Rent 2012 starring John Cusack.  Maybe there's something I can learn, such as learning how to take an airplane off when the ground's collapsing around me and there is no place to land and I've got a limited amount of gas.  Danny Glover plays the President in this film, so you know there will be some scenes I'll be memorizing.

10) File a Freedom of Information Act to find out the kind and amount of secret herbs and spices there are in KFC's coating.

9) Send condolence letters to the people I was going to gift exchange with from Dec. 22-31, along with a bottle of dish soap, courtesy of Ashley since she happens to have large stocks of it--all courtesy of her coupon preoccupation.

8) I've always wanted to go to a large city in Europe where they allow street performers and people doing card tricks and stuff so I could make duct tape wallets for everyone.  I don't do crafts except for this and they're usually a crowd pleaser.

7) Get a meeting with the people who designed the Big-10 logo that currently has an "11" in relief in the letters because there were 11 teams in the conference.  Now they have to hide "13" because of the conference expansion.  I really just want to find a way to get my social security number hidden when you spell my full name out.

-Profession: Financial Planner

-Favorite antique: Mission of Advent Bell

-If you combine your enjoyment of performing improv with your position, what kind of spontaneous investment could you make?:  Buy a condo in China or someplace exotic that would have a potentially huge growth rate.

-In high school, you were featured on ESPN because your wrestling team played chess to mentally calm before a match.  If you asked an opponent to "play chess" during a match, what would that mean?:  Having him back at the use chess terminology.

-You're the landlord of two properties and one of those is a church.  What hymn--real or imagined--would your tenants sing for you?:  "Amazing Guy, How Sweet the Sound"