December 14: Box of Titleist Golf Balls

Saturday, December 15, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:28 AM
Given to Ina from Dave.

I wrapped up an evening of hoops tonight, racking up 14 points, 12 boards, 7 assists and 2 blocks in 30 minutes of work.  When we were all trying to figure out how to divide the teams up, I--usually being the tallest chap out there--gets matched up with an equally tall drink to make sure teams are balanced.  We were looking to flush out our roster and I asked my friends if this shorter guy (also named Dan) who was working out could play.  I described him, said he had played with us before, but no one knew who I was talking about.  My friend Ray asked to clarify, "Is he short or just short to you?"  "Short to me," I responded.  Then Ray knew who I was talking about.

I think we live in a society too focused on height.  Instead of looking at a person's vertical aptitude, I suggest we focus on someone's girth.  The range of the numbers would be closer together than say the gap between someone who's 5'0" and 6'9" and if people just used a number--say '3', for instance, based on a pre-arranged numbering system--to say what a person's girth was, then people would have another measurement when picking football teams, for instance.  Because if you went on height alone with football, you'd have trouble.

Ray responded, "Yeah...I don't think people would like their girths measured."

And so on the gym floor this evening died a wonderfully novel idea.

I'll have my English muffin ina
-Profession: Lab Director

-Favorite boundary: The one between salt water and sand

-Add -ina to any word in the English language and tell me its new meaning: Einsteina--a very smart woman.

-Ina is also the name of a lunar crater.  What would you name the craters in your English muffin?:  Stan.  If a crater on the moon can be named Ina, then I don't see why you can't name an English muffin crater "Stan".

-There are 50 years between your oldest first cousin and you.  Come up with an age-neutral 'active' activity that you could all do together?:  Gin rummy or cooking.