December 21: Batman Mighty Wallet and Water Clock

Saturday, December 22, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:30 AM
Given to John from Amanda.

I'd like to give myself, you, and my lone visitor from Jordan a pat on the back for getting through today and effectively sticking our tongues out at the Mayans and Nostradamus.  My co-worker Anne was particularly sensitive to my jitters when I told her of the estate buyer who was stationed in my apartment last evening, looking to buy all of my worldly possessions.  She texted, "New Zealand made it to December 21", so I kicked the buyer out before he could pilfer my toaster oven.  This morning I found a delicious chocolate and custard flaked pastry on my desk, courtesy of Anne, with a simple note written on the bag--"We're still alive".  I feel like we dodged a major bullet, but that took none of the suspense out of my meals today.  All were Apocalypse-themed (think multiple courses with samplings of each appetizer, entree, and dessert on the menu) and all featured some raised eyebrows from the company I kept; they probably thought my sanity had been wiped out by a giant meteor.

People try to remain friends after
a trade gone awry
-Profession: Alumni Relations Professional

-Favorite tennis player: Boris Becker

-You've been to every baseball stadium (31 in total).  How much did you spend on overpriced souvenirs and food?:  I got a souvenir cup ($10), a drink ($5), a stadium dog ($5) and a bobblehead ($25).  So about $45 per stadium.

-You're a two-time fantasy baseball champion.  What kind of smack can you talk?:  Well, there's daily smack, even in the offseason.  It usually revolves around trades.  If someone makes a bad trade, we'll ask, "Did you get kissed first before you got f&*ked?'

-You're the 24th bearded gift exchanger.  Are you jolly?:  I am very jolly, even with it turning grey.