November 26: Set of Four "Girl Elf" Dessert Plates and Lavender Infuser

Tuesday, November 27, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:10 AM
Given to Pam from Libby.

I'm probably a couple of months delayed in offering you this nugget of advice, but I'd like to plant a seed with you early so that you may apply it for 2013.  We're entering the holiday season--scheduled to the brim with parties offering tray after tray of catered food, happy hours with calorie-rich Christmas cocktails, and chocolate boxes featuring one too many a nut cluster.  In short, there's a lot of food, there's a good chance you'll overdo it, and they don't make an unlimited supply of your next size up jeans.

If you're an instigator of such a party, stop!  Reschedule it for a time throughout the year when people are moping inside looking for something to do.  What are people doing in late-February?  Probably sitting on their thumbs, waiting for the next Louis C.K. special.  When they talk about Christmas in July, seize the moment and break out some mint fudge.  I'm also sure that if people are less clothed in the summer, they'll be worrying less about cramming enough in their pouches for the harsh winter months ahead (that's fancy-pants talk for they won't eat as much).  A perfect solution!

-Profession: Accountant

-Favorite kind of scrap metal: Copper

-You used to bowl.  What kind of exclamation would you have if you got a strike?:  Yes! (with an air fist shake)
-What kind of curse would you utter after a gutter ball?:  F*^k! (while giving the pins the finger)

-You're an avid eBay salesperson.  Is there an item you've wanted to track, go to the location you shipped it to and meet the buyer?:  Yes.  I told my lifetime membership to an MIT grad.  You can transfer a lifetime membership once.  It would be great to meet him.

-You moved to Ohio for a guy you met online.  What discrepancy did you find from his description to when you actually met him?:  He had dark brown hair before I met him; he had dyed his hair and goatee platinum blonde.