November 15: Box of Swiss Miss, Bag of Marshmallows, Mug, Chap Stick, Hand-Knitted Scarf, and 'Real Simple' Magazine

Friday, November 16, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:43 AM
Given to Boyd from Hannah.
This ain't no awkward middle school dance hug
Hannah explained both to me last night and in her note to Boyd that she wanted to give gifts that were representative of a hug.  Keeping the gifts for myself and bear-hugging my boy Boyd wasn't going to work.  I gave him the gifts, then probed him with a few questions about hugs.

1) Do these gifts make you want to hug your boss?: I don't want to go there
2) What is your version of a hug through gifts?:  A hand-knitted sweater that my wife would make; I don't knit.
3) How does it feel to be 'hugged' by someone you don't know?:  Oh, wonderful.
4) What are you looking for in a hug?:  Something not too tight or too long.  The hands have to be above the waist.  And it would be great if the wearer wore a pleasant perfume or cologne.  

His wife's going to sew a scarlet B
into this.
-Profession: Compliance Officer

-Favorite thing to keep in compliance: Privacy & Security

-This summer, you shot machine guns with the F.B.I. and you are a blackbelt karate instructor.  How close are you to becoming Chuck Norris?: Nobody could beat Chuck Norris.  It's like asking how close I am to becoming God.  I'm at least a lifetime away [from becoming Chuck Norris].

-The Boyd Gang was a notorious Canadian crime gang that sprang up after World War II.  If there was a dispute about where or whom to rob, how do you think gang members would solve it?:  Playing a game of mumblety peg where you have to throw a pocket knife into the ground as close to your foot as possible.

-At home, how does your wife keep you in compliance?:  Guilt.  She uses guilt.