November 21: Porcelain Treasure Box

Thursday, November 22, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:21 AM
Given to Matt from Erin.

Tonight was a fun pre-Thanksgiving day party.  My friend Audrey and I went to the Cleveland Cavs game tonight.  Overall, it was really a lot of fun, but I found myself saying "no" to a bunch of things, which is highly uncharacteristic of me.

  • I wanted some water from the fountain machine.  I asked for a large glass.  They said if they gave me a regular sized paper cup with Pepsi written on the side, I would have to pay $4.25 and sacrifice my first-born.  #1 No.  I opted for the free 3 oz. taster glasses, going back a couple times for refills.
  • The woman next to us offered a taste of her deluxe potato chip nachos.  As it turns out, Audrey and I had a pre-game nachos meal.  We still took the woman up on her offer--deep-fried potato chips covered with alfredo sauce (from a bag), chives and bacon--just to be polite.  I took a moderately covered chip with just the sauce.  She said, "Make sure you take one with some bacon."  #2 No. I don't want to die at 38.
  • "Hey Fans!  Jump out of your chairs, act like fools, maul your neighbor, and try to get a white t-shirt with a corporate logo on it that will survive only four wash cycles."  #3 No.
  • Kiss Cam.  I'm not telling you if we're both awkward about it or if we don't want to show tongue on the Jumbotron.  The truth lies somewhere in-between.  #4 No

Jim kept waiting for Matt to shoot
potato chips up to him
-Profession: Die Maker at General Motors

-Favorite Thanksgiving side dish: Mashed Potatoes and Corn mixed together

-You teach catholic religious education in your spare time.  Tell me a tale from your life and turn it into a parable:  I was doing some youth ministry stuff and I'm hanging out with this guy named Jim.  He's 7'0".  We were at a bowling alley and had chips and pizza and things there to get people to come out and join a church group.  All this time, I'm looking up at Jim when we're talking.  He's got this kernel of pizza on the corner of his mouth and when he was talking the food went right into mine.  My wife and a friend who were on either side of us each walked away.  I treated it like tobacco and just spit it out.  The moral: Don't stand too close when people are eating.

-You donate your hair every two years.  Instead of going to a person, what action figure or doll would you give it to?:  Ken.  He's way too clean cut for me.  I don't like his plastic 'do either.

-You enjoy playing cover songs.  What would be the perfect cover song that encapsulates the life of a die maker?:  Crazy Train by Ozzy.  Everyone's I know is out of their mind.