Yesterday, I was supposed to exchange gifts with this woman named Liz. She had something come up in her schedule (she didn't tell me, but I'm assuming she won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes with a large check being delivered by Regis Philbin), so I was without a gift exchanger. Because of this, I took a baby Bayer aspirin to ward off the possibility of heart attack. This has happened from time-to-time when an emergency has come up, which forces me to find someone on the spot. I'm usually pretty good about diffusing any awkwardness when this does happen, but if things get sticky, I'll usually flash my signed 8x10 picture of Patrick Stewart that I keep in my glove compartment. That usually does the trick. Anyway, I went down to have a drink with my friend Ray and asked Tina, who was working behind the bar, if she'd be interested in participating. She did and provided a loaf of bread from the restaurant where she works--Broken Rocks Cafe--and a festively decorated pumpkin that was sitting on the bar top.
|Immodium can help her with|
-Profession: Retired Medical Receptionist and Biller
-Favorite mahjong combination: Any consecutive runs
-For exercise, you water walk. How many times do people crack jokes about eventually 'walking on water'?: I don't think anyone's ever said that to me.
-Your grandmother was a bootlegger and once busted by Eliot Ness. Do you find something, um, non appetizing about drinking a beverage that was made in the same place as where a person cleans their filth off?: Today, yes. Back then, the alcohol possibly sanitized it.
-In your spare time, you design greeting cards. What would the front of a condolence card look like for someone who had a graduation party and no one came?: It would probably have a sad, blue cartoon face with 2012 in the background.