November 16: Animated Gorilla Toy and Homemade Eco-Friendly Chicken Feed Tote Bag

Saturday, November 17, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:46 AM
Given to Shawn from Boyd.
Minus the turkey picture, one could think this the breakfast
of Bible thumpers the nation over
I've got a well-meaning co-worker who brings in expired bags of chips.  Oh gosh, that probably sounds worse than it is; it's not like they're poison.  His wife works for a vending machine company and her job is to supply vending machines in rest stops with chips and other assorted snacks.  If a particular brand of snack doesn't sell out, they wind up in our office.

Sadly, not only are the chips outdated, but the flavors don't line up with my palette preference, such as Ruffles Molten Hot Wings (sorry, I like the friendly bacteria in my intestines) or Dirty Potato Chips Maui Onion flavor (no one eats them except this one guy in our office...and we have questions about him outside of the chips, but it certainly doesn't help).  I will, however, eat the Sun Chips Harvest Cheddar flavor, but I have some concern.  I heard stories about people in the Depression who ate nothing but Rice Krispies for years and then once the Depression lifted, they couldn't eat them anymore.  I don't know if I'm asking my co-worker to bring in, say the Garden Salsa variety every once in a while, or if I'm just concerned about developing a food aversion.

A few weeks ago, our boss went to the chip bin and picked up a bag of the Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips.  After eating a chip or two, he something clearly audible for the whole office to hear, along the lines of, "Oh God, these taste terrible."  He then checked the expiration date.  The chips expired six months prior.  Please do me a favor, dear readers.  Buy the odd flavors of Dirty Chips.  Eat bunches of Harvest Cheddar and save the normal flavors for me.

Denied himself Vitamin C for months
to know what being a pirate was
really like
-Profession: Engineering Student

-Favorite pirate affectation: Eyepatch

-As a soccer player, do you and others get really excited by the use of headers and footers in Microsoft Word?:  I do.  I can't vouch for anyone else.  I do get excited.  But I don't have much of an opportunity to use them in papers.

-You love zombie movies.  What do you think a zombie's worst fear is?:  Generally, fire.  They don't like it very much.  They're not afraid of much.
-What do you think a zombie would bring to a relationship?:  They're not afraid of commitment.  They wouldn't give up and leave.

-You dress up as a pirate at Pittsburgh Pirates baseball games and frequently appear on the scoreboard.  Do you think your costume helps or hinders kissing a girl on the kiss cam?:  I think it helps.  I've been on the Jumbotron before with strangers.  People will someone takes pictures of and with me for scavenger hunts.  But I've haven't been on the kiss cam before.