October 7: $10 Speedway Giftcard and Steak & Shake Coupons

Monday, October 8, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:55 AM
Given to Chuck from Tom.
No joke: Chuck actually goes to Steak & Shake every Wed.
Dear Manufacturers of Post-it Notes listing your Company Name and Other Boring Details,

I find it difficult to write messages to myself when your company's info takes up greater than 50% of the available post-it real estate.  When I look to find my note, it gets lost in the sea of your website, telephone number, and slogan.  I get confused.

If you'd like to thank me with an inexpensive product, I'd prefer a mini Swiss Army knife with pull-out scissors and emory board.  I have found that many a rough nail have been temporarily helped by those two features.  I have also trimmed loose thread on my jackets and jeans with the scissors, impressing spectators on the subway in the process.

Should you have the need to reach me, please contact my made up secretary name's Uma.  Her number is listed below.

Thank you,

-Profession: IT Manager

-Favorite ground meat to make a burger out of: Ground Chuck

-If Chuck Norris was mad at you, how would you go about making peace with him?:  He wouldn't be mad at me.  We're Chucks.  Peace is inherent.  In fact, when I go to church, I sit in a section that has a lot of Chucks in it.

-You enjoy camping.  Is it really all fun and games until someone loses a wiener?:  I wouldn't go that far.  Nah, yes, it's really all fun and games until someone loses their food.

-If you were a basketball phenom from the 1960s and wore Chuck Taylors, how much would your playing career have been shortened?:  5 years.

-What's the last thing you've chucked?:  A football this past August.