October 25: Bulletin Board

Thursday, October 25, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 7:26 PM
Given to Jim from Ambria.

Time and space were off all day today.  It began with breakfast.  My brother, mom and me all trudged over to this fab place--French Meadow Cafe--and enjoyed a wonderful breakfast.  Before we left, we ordered a couple of wraps to-go for lunch, only to wait 20 minutes until they arrived, turning my brother's pants cranky in the meantime.  He dropped my mom and me off at his apartment for the morning.  When trying to communicate with my brother, my mom's text messages turned into mini-novellas; the beeping sounded like a MacIntosh II being booted up.  When we enjoyed our delayed lunch, the 5-second rule for dropped food turned into 18.4 milliseconds based on the wishes of the dust in my brother's apartment to mimic the old West.    It persisted into the afternoon.  My 20-minute "cat" nap turned into an hour and a half bear hibernation-like slumber. 

However, all returned to normal when we picked up some Chipotle and found the unusual number and placing of body piercings on their friendly staff.  It righted the ship and prevented the total collapse of my universe for the day.

-Profession: Business Analytics

-Favorite emergency roadside tool: A cell phone--I don't do anything

-You were formerly married to an Indian and now a German.  Combine an Indian and German dish into one and name it.:  Curry Wienerschnitzel

-Slim Jims: Dried, cured meat.  Fat Jims: vegetarian spring rolls

-You also teach physics at a local college.  Rank the effectiveness of each scenario on teaching acceleration: bowling ball from a roof; boulder down a hill; basketball from the rafters; medicine ball from a well-placed ramp
1--medicine ball from a well-placed ramp (it's the simplest)
2--bowling ball from a roof (irony and humor are memorable)
3--basketball from the rafters (interesting effects with bounce)
4--boulder down a hill (messiest)