October 15: Dog-opoly

Tuesday, October 16, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 1:03 AM
Given to Betsy from Matt.

You really don't want to be the Shoe gamepiece
You'll pay $200 if you get fleas.  The butcher shop and the fire hydrant are the dog "utilities".  The Great Dane is "Boardwalk".  And in the process of playing Dog-opoly, keep in mind that you are the dog, Parker Brothers is the tail, and you are being wagged.  Oh I forgot to mention Betsy loves Monopoly and loves dogs and her roommate is a pre-vet major.  That's got drinking game written all over it.

Go and do a search on Amazon for 'Monopoly' and you'll find that there is a version of Monopoly for any taste--Metallica, Family Guy, John Wayne, New York...and on and on.  They even have a Puppy-opoly as if Dog-opoly wasn't comprehensive enough.  For those of you willing to delve further into obscurity, try Redneck-opoly or Ocean-opoly.

I'd like to see a personal hygiene-opoly ($75 if you land on Ingrown Hair), 2nd Tier Soda Pop-opoly (I can't wait to collect rent with my three Tabs), and Fine Tobacco-opoly.

Crockett called his diary "The New
Adventures of Old Betsy"
-Profession: Pre-Med Major

-Favorite rock climbing level: Bouldering

-As a summer lifeguard, how much of the time were you contemplating saving someone's life?:  About three-quarters of the time.  The other quarter of the time I was paying attention to the staff I was overseeing.
-What was the most dramatic rescue you imagined?:  If someone had a seizure in the water.  If that happens, you keep that person in the water and just make sure their head's out of it.

-Davy Crockett used two kinds of guns: Betsy and Old Betsy.  Do you think 'Betsy' was just a euphemism for his surgically attached bicep?:  I don't know about that and I don't know if I'd like my name associated with a bicep or firearm.  I do like the idea of getting a musket named after me.

-Betsy Ross was the first seamstress of the American Flag.  What do you think she liked to sew outside of flags?:  I think she sewed clothes for her grandchildren.  Little dresses like the Amish make.  And bonnets and button-downed shirts.