|LED flashlight makes this easy to read in|
the closet...and out of sight from your friends
-Spouse Ursula: "Enjoy your oatmeal, dear,"
-Investigative Reporter Trudy: "What did you put on top?"
-Ursula: "Some currants."
-Trudy: "One looks like a craisin."
-Ursula: "No, I took them all out of the currant bag in the fridge."
-Trudy: "That's not good enough, damn it. I'm going to get a microscope to see if 30x magnification will help identify it. Then I'm taking this currant impostor down to a food safety testing lab to see what its chemical composition is. Then I'm going to install a 24/7 monitoring camera to see if you really grabbed the currant bag or if you're trying to mess with my head. Then I'm going to contact the supermarkets in a 50-mile radius to see if this sort of contamination existed in other cities.
That's just plain exhausting for one currant/craisin. It's not bloody worth it.
|I can write more news stories about you|
than you can even conceive of
-Profession: Investigative Journalist
-Favorite 'Steve Miller' band song: The Joker
-You live in Texas. In order of importance, what three things should you mess with in that state?:
2) border crossing where people get popped for weed
3) old oil money
-Given that your full name is Steve Miller, if you had to put together your own band, what other journalists would you have in it?:
James Elroy would be my lead singer. David Carr would play guitar. Juan Williams on keyboards. And Buck Henry from MSNBC would be on drums.
-As an investigative journalist, what would you uncover from a caper at a suburban dry cleaners involving a missing sock?: I'd find the missing channel changer, too. There would be no malice, just ineptitude.