October 6: Aztec Incense Figure and Picture of Jesus on a Cross

Saturday, October 6, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 11:28 PM
Given to Tom from Jesse.

Everyone has made predictions about this year--the Mayans, Nostradamus, Harold Camping (the Rapture dude).  Assuming humans will survive past December 21, 2012, I'm going to make one prediction this evening.  I was inspired by the writing on the back of a theater program book tonight, which asked people to silence their cell phones and pagers.  Who has a pager?  What time-locked soul has one?  If so, I will pay you to upgrade to a modern cell phone.  I will pay for a texting plan for you, too (limited for the first 60 people who respond to me directly).

Date the mention of silencing a pager in a theater program will go extinct: May 12, 2016, which also happens to be Ving Rhames birthday.  He'll be 57.

Unbeknownst to the general public,
reconciliation happened right after
happy hour
-Profession: Political Science Professor

-Favorite U.S. Vice President: Edwin Stanton because he said of serving the role that "it ain't worth a bucket of warm spit"

-You met your wife working at the Close-up Foundation.  Did the use of the corresponding toothpaste play any role in allowing closer physical contact, leading to that first kiss?:  No, but toothpaste in general did.  We're very happy with each other's hygiene.  But a little worried about the kids' [hygiene].

-Was it the combination of your refined palate and the bad sacramental wine which led you to leave the Catholic seminary?:  Not at all.  It was a great regret of mine to leave behind many happy hours after mass.  That's also where I learned how to drink a Manhattan.

-How many times per week do you groom your mustache?:  I trim it about three times per week.