October 14: Campbell's Soup Travel Container

Monday, October 15, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:34 AM
Given to Matt from Kennetha.

This weekend I went out for breakfast twice--at Gene's Place yesterday and Bob Evans today.  On the front of B.E.'s menu, which is designed to make you think the farm's just out back, is the company slogan: "We treat strangers like friends and friends like family."

That sounds great, except if your family's clinically dysfunctional, takes communal baths (as mine does), or is going through a blood feud.  I'd probably also avoid Bob Evans if there are any traces of incest running through your bloodlines.  In the aforementioned instances, I would opt for being treated like a stranger. 

Friends can get under Matt's skin by
telling him Newton was just inventing
a primitive form of 'bobbing for apples'
Matt
-Profession: Lead Systems Analyst

-Favorite Panera Bread Bagel: Cinnamon Crunch

-Someone who is witty is said to be 'quick on their feet'.  What would a witty track athlete be called?:  Quick in their cerebral cortex?  I don't know if that's even the part that it [wittiness] comes from.

-How many times per month do people ask you to fix their printer jam?:  Never.  I get computer help requests more from people in my personal life.  Someone asked me where the 'Any' key is because they couldn't find it when prompted to 'press any key to continue'.

-You're a distant relative of Isaac Newton.  Do you have a strange affinity for apples?:  Very strong.  I love honey crisp.  I've never had an apple fall on my head, but I do believe in gravity.