October 12: Steve Miller's 'Nobody's Women'

Friday, October 12, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 9:31 PM
Given to Joanne from Steve.
Clearly not a book you'd start a first date with
I had an event today where I ordered many Jimmy John's sandwiches--all served wonderfully on three round party trays.  I was expecting 30 people; less than a third of that total came.  I was left with a bunch of sandwiches that I could not and preferred not to eat.  My co-workers took one or two of the sandwiches halves before leaving work today, but I was still left with a boatload of sandwiches.  I was about to give up, but Lady Luck paid me a visit.  It just so happened that a party was being thrown in the lobby of the building where I work--a party for eco-friendly folk.

I'm reluctant to admit this, but I backed the organizers of the party into a corner and offered them the leftover sandwiches.  If they refused to take them, I would have call them hypocrites.  If they accepted them, they would have fulfilled their mission and I would have been rid of the three trays.  They took the trays and had plenty of sandwiches to pair with their alcohol consumption.  I did my public health service for the evening.

Nell can eat as many Ginger-O's as
she wishes
-Profession: Corporate Compliance Officer

-Favorite vegetable to cream?:  Asparagus

-If Joann Fabrics and Pat Catans were vying for Michael's love, who would win out?:  Joann would because Pat's really a guy.

-Joanne Woodward (a.k.a. "Nell" Newman) is pictured on many a Newman's Own product.  Which one do you think she had the heaviest hand in developing?:  Any of the creamy salad dressings.

-If someone's not in compliance at your company, how would you rank the following punishments, in order of most to least severe: 10-minute, tied down tickle; peeling 100 lbs. of potatoes for the company picnic; wearing a vinyl unitard covered in Vaseline and sliding from one cube to another for entire day; shear all men's beards in a community that are too long?

1) vinyl unitard with Vaseline
2) shearing beards
3) 10-min. tickle
4) 100 pounds of potatoes to peel