May 28: Emergency Drop-Down Oxygen Mask and Airline Demonstration Seatbelt

Monday, May 28, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 11:51 PM
Given to Emily from Breezy.

Secure yours first before helping your neighbor,
then wait for the beverage service
Picking up the story from yesterday, Breezy covertly handed me these two items as we made our descent, which I shoved quickly into my Jansport backpack.  I looked around to see if anyone noticed, but it appeared most everyone was either apathetic or in a Dramamine-enduced haze.

In all seriousness, don't you think it would be fair and fun if the airlines randomly simulated a water landing so people could try their seats out as flotation devices?  Now that the warm weather is coming, instead of buying pastel-colored noodles for the pool, I'd like to get my hands on some airline seats so I can bob up and down on them while I even out my farmer's tan.

I also think a water slide landing if it's your birthday might be a nice gesture.  The gym I belong to gives members a free 10-minute hydromassage when they work out on their birthday and Starbucks gives me a free drink.  If my requests to the airlines seem outlandish, then my final and most heartfelt suggestion is, if it is your birthday, making the forward lavatory your personal one, sending everyone else to the back.

11 pillows would be a total sham
-Profession: Market Researcher

-Favorite marathon recovery drink flavor: Lemon-Lime

-In college when you were on study abroad in London. Did you ever try out your English accent to see how good it was?:  No, I didn't.  But I imitated people after I talked with someone.  That was fun.  I also learned to use the words 'straight away' in place of 'right away'.

-In your spare time, you like to do interior decorating.  How many pillows is too many for a bed?:  Above 10 is too many.

-You're getting married in 6 months.  Do you have a different name for a bride gone wild than a Bridezilla?:  Bridesmanian Devil comes to mind.  Or Bride Hulk.