May 17: Inflatable Alligator

Thursday, May 17, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 11:22 PM
Given to Brittanny from Marija.

If I had the time, money, energy, interest, and Elisabeth Röhm was still legal counsel on Law & Order, I would be filing a class action suit.  I think an alligator play toy is sending the wrong message to our children.  It implants the idea that alligators are fun and can be ridden on and are safe.  The 4-year old kids of today are going to grow up unaware 27-year olds on golf courses in the South.  When they see an alligator hanging out next to a sand trap, they'll want to play with it like they did in childhood.  And that's where disaster looms.  It's all fun and games and playtime in the sun until someone's leg gets gnashed.

However, since I don't have any of the aforementioned impetuses to file said class action suit, I can offer one tip.  If you see an alligator and it is coming toward you, run in a zig-zag pattern and not straight ahead.  Alligators are unable to adapt to quick lateral movements, so you will be safe.  Also make sure your golf cart has plenty of gas in it.

Is potato spelled with an 'e'?
-Profession: Admissions Counselor

-Favorite pizza topping: Pineapple

-Brittany is one of the six Celtic nations.  How far do you think the Celtics will go in this year's NBA playoffs?:  They'll make it to game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals, but will lose to Miami.

-You call Maine your home and it has the largest toothpick manufacturing plant in the U.S.  Why isn't the state's slogan "The Toothpick State"?:  Because Southerners would be mad if you took that from them.

-In elementary school, you won a couple of spelling bees and, in college, you majored in English.  However, you have the hardest time with spelling.  What word(s) give you the most fits?:  If you are asking me to spell something now, then simple words (i.e. ferry).  But if I'm writing or typing, then it has to be names of food.