April 24: 'Despicable Me' Minion Doll

Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 2:23 AM
Given to Thom from Libby.
"Have a seat...we'll be with you in a moment"
Today, I invited a friend to have lunch with me, followed by a field trip in the out of doors.  The outdoors, of course, being a few feet outside of my office window.  I gave no instructions other than 1) I was going to be using a telescoping aluminum pole; and 2) we were going to have the best time.

There's this white shopping bag that got blown up in the tree that has been driving me nuts.  I stood on this ledge--my friend helping to guide my position, as well as that of the pole--and I tried to hook the bag around the pole to pry it loose from the tree.  Of course, the tree has inch-long needles on its branches, which managed to scratch and bloody my hands.  After getting 90% of the bag pried free, I ended my chase when the handles of the bag got wrapped around two of the needles.

I stopped upstairs to complain/discuss the matter/whine to my friend Matt.  Before getting too far in the story, he said "is there a white bag in the tree?"  Surprised, I said yes.  While looking at my bloodied hands which he said had "Workers Comp" written all over them, Matt walked me down the hall to his co-worker Brandon who sits a floor above me.   I commiserated with him and learned he has been lobbying the grounds crew for months to get the bag unhooked--albeit unsuccessfully.  We hatched a plan to finally get this unsightly mess out of our view: 1) get someone from the basement level to complain; 2) subsequently lodge three separate requests to have it removed; 3) picket until action is taken.  I'll keep you posted.

-Profession: Hair Stylist

-Favorite online search engine: Google

-Who would win a volleyball game: a team of barbers or a team of hair stylists?:  Hair stylists because barbers are like 150 years old and are slow.

-If you, Tom, enjoyed Marshmallow Peeps, what would that make you?:  A nauseated Peeping Tom

-Rapid Reax:
A head of well-groomed hair: nice...
A single hair baked in an oatmeal cookie: it's probably mine