April 16: Rent CD set

Monday, April 16, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:11 PM
Given to Mike from Jamie Jo.

Let me tell you about two universal, unstated rules between men--one of which was observed today between me and Mike.  Here's one, but it did not occur tonight: The bathroom.  If you go into a public bathroom with two urinals and one is occupied, you DO NOT go to the urinal next to the one being used, unless you're about to pass a kidney stone.  Otherwise, your options are to go into the stall or politely wash your hands until user #1 is finished doing his business.

Here's the second rule and the one observed this evening: a guy DOES NOT overly express interest in showtunes or Broadway musicals.  Mike pulled this off well tonight, so well in fact that I didn't know if he was just being polite at receiving a gift or if he really liked Rent and was toning his enthusiasm down. If a guy catches you humming/singing anything close to a musical tune, just look at him (you can continue to hum) and ask if he wants to do some arm curls.  It works.

You probably don't want to tell your significant other about this either.  However, the tactics to escape differ.  If your significant other asks you, "What are you singing?", your automatic reply (and you should stop humming) is "Oh a song from that Snow Patrol (fill in the Mad Lib musician name) concert I'm taking you to next month."  Works every time.

-Profession: Orthopedic surgeon

-Favorite household cleaner: Goo Gone

-What advice do you give patients about using elbow grease?:  I say use as much as possible.

-Do comedians and improvisors have larger funny bones than the rest of the population?:  Yes and they're more flexible and less likely to break.

-How fast do you think you could change a tire?:  About 7 seconds.  That will be the amount of time it will take me to Google "AAA" on my smart phone.