June 30: Handlebar Mustache Wine Bottle Opener

Saturday, June 30, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 5:26 PM
Given to Ron from Nicole.
The mutton chop sideburns pickle cutter also is a great
kitchen gadget
Ron's a toolsy man, that is to say, he knows his way around a jackhammer and a T-Square in equal measure.  In fact, he makes his knowledge of tools and getting stuff done with them his living.  The first time I met Ron he told me, "I know how to do most anything.  If I don't, I know someone who does."  To me, that sounded a lot like Red (Morgan Freeman) from the Shawshank Redemption as a "man who knows how to get things".  I've never known a man on the inside before, but in the span of Ron's 2-hour visit to help me get some stuff done around the yard, we managed to do several projects, including assembling a heavy outdoor swing.

I had my doubts about Ron's promise of being able to do anything.  I would have probably called his work "satisfactory" if he had put everything together well and it was functioning great.  What put me over the edge was that Ron, like any self-respecting man working on a project--had parts left over.  (If you're curious, there were a couple of wing nuts, washers, bolts and long screws).  I don't care if you're assembly some P.O.S. TV stand from Wal-Mart or building a bridge, you've got to have parts left over. No woman wants to be with a man who uses the exact amount of hardware.

Curiously, Mr. McFeely moonlighted
as the show's plumber
Ron
-Profession: Carpenter

-Favorite Tool: Drill

-Bob Villa--hero or villain?:  We'll, he's not a villain.  And he's not really a hero, either.  He was all right when he first came out, but he got a little full of himself.

-What's been the snack you've enjoyed the most that someone has offered you on the job?:  Sub sandwiches and a lot of Brisk Iced Tea.  The people I do a lot of work for have cases of it stacked in their garage.

-What do you think Handyman Negry's (of Mister Rogers fame) best skill was?:  He was probably a pretty good carpenter.