June 14: Radio Shack Metal Detector

Friday, June 15, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 8:04 AM
Given to Adam from Ryan.
I bet there's a whole pile of unclaimed treasure
in the filing cabinet
Adam and I had the same two reactions to the metal detector: (1) we didn't realize the pole telescoped out by that little orange knob; and (2) we thought the TSA could use it if their systems should ever go down and we fake scanned people in our vicinity as if we were TSA employees using it in a pinch.  A pat-down is our first preference by far, but if they needed to, they could make do.

I'm amazed whenever I go through the TSA checkpoint at the airport to see their gigantic frame filled with all sorts of goodies--lighters, knives, gun, nunchucks, and any other kind of banned weapon or explosive.  I wonder what they do with the excess.  I hope they divide the bounty up at a staff poker game.  It would be a waste to throw them away and a crime to resell them to a pawn shop owner.

Separately, when I go through the checkpoint, I feel the same obligation to make meaningful chit-chat with the person checking the IDs and those working the scanning machines as I do when I go to my massotherapist.  Like I'm really trying to let them know this isn't one-sided and that the public does care about them and we're not just taking their service for granted!

His wife's going to be really
annoyed on their next beach vacation
-Profession: Consulting

-Favorite golf club: Driver

-On behalf of all people named Adam in the world, would you discourage a courtship and union with anyone named Eve?:  Highly.  And you'd only get annoying humor at the first meeting anyway.

-Do you give 'a dam(n)' about your gifts?:  Yes, I do.  I don't want to ever see the gifts I gave away again--they're infuriatingly difficult.  But the metal detector...yeah...I'll bury stuff in my yard and my son and I can find it.

-Rate your preference for finding the following objects with your new metal detector: pirate coin, slinky, gold tooth.:
1) gold tooth--it gives the highest potential to make up a good story
2) pirate coin--there are not nor were many pirates in the American Midwest
3) slinky--it's just a token gift