June 29: Pink Hibiscus Candle, Apple Lavender Hand Soap, White Citrus Lotion, and a Pair of Sunglasses

Saturday, June 30, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 1:57 AM
Given to Nicole from Maria.

Last night, I attended a live taping of the hit NPR show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!, which was quite entertaining and informative as it is my only source to know what's going on in the world.  I found out that the Senate is canceling a long-standing tradition of "Sear Sucker Thursdays" where members of the Senate would wear their sear suckers and have an ice cream social.  Because of the extreme partisanship rife within Congress, they've decided to end it.  You can have your opinions on whether this is a good thing, that the _______ party had it coming to them and they damn well don't deserve any soft serve twist cones.

But I remember a commercial audition I had a few years ago where I was asked to play a crazy game show host--giving away bundles of free prizes and cash.  To put my best foot forward, I went to Macy's and rented (bought and returned) a green sear sucker.  For the audition taping, slits of my upper body disappeared into the green screen, leaving me appear to be a talking head on a bunch of toothpicks that moved on top of relatively fat looking legs.  I managed to get the part and wowed audiences with my gripping portrayal of a man in desperate need to break his crack addition.

After the audition, I wore the sear sucker to my friend Gabe's wedding.  I lived first-hand the expression "the clothes make the man" as I clutched my coat like I was Colonel Sanders and kept strutting around the reception and talking like I was Foghorn Leghorn.

-Profession: Marketing for a Punk Rock Magazine

-Favorite wind direction: Southerly

-As part of your job, you travel all around the country and you have been in 46 of 50 states (Alaska, Hawaii, Wyoming and Montana are the remaining four).  Did you keep a state quarter collection for the states you have visited?:  No, because if I start something, I usually peter out and stop.  I do have a treasure chest full of old ticket stubs from concerts, wristbands, tickets from random things I've gone to see.  If my house was burning, I'd save that chest over anything else.

-Think of a Barry Manilow song.  Now make it punk.:  Mandy came to mind.  You came and you drank without puking.  Now you're ready to mosh again, Mandy.

-Have you ever found a need in your life to ask anyone "where's the beef?"?:  Yes!  I was in New Haven, CT with some friends and we were looking for this historic sandwich place, but it was like 20 blocks from our hotel.  So we ended up asking someone, "Where's the steamed beef?"