June 27: White Trash Rubber Chicken

Thursday, June 28, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:48 AM
Given to Skip from Jon.

Does anyone find rubber chickens humorous?  I place them in the same category as banana peels.  Iconic--yes, but funny--no.  We can all look at this rubber chicken and say "oh, some one will think that's funny, but I don't" or "who is crazy enough to buy a chicken like this?  ha!" or "wait till Dad gets a look at this on Father's Day!".  I think I've made my point.  This chicken, like many products Americans buy, was made in China.

I'd like to take my HD mini-DV cam into China to do some shadowbox interviews with the workers who made them.  Maybe distort their voice, too.   And in Mike Wallace fashion (RIP brother, you're ticking in harmony with that great stopwatch in the sky), but wearing a Craig Sager blazer, I'd ask them what the f*^# do you think about making these things for 14 hours a day?  And what do you think of Americans who are importing them by the cases?  Do we look utterly ridiculous?

I bet some 11-year old Chinese kid is having nightmares about this freaky chicken at night with his "Mom" tattoo eating him for dinner.  Or he's just having a nightmare about Craig Sager's blazer line.

In 11 years of teaching, has finally
learned how to spell "BLOOD" with
his fingers
-Profession: Criminal Teacher

-Favorite Shakespearian play:  The Tempest

-You teach GED and pre-GED at a prison.  What kind of real-world problems do you give the inmates?:  Usually examples of something contraband that they may or may not be familiar with.  A lot of my students know what a kilo is.  So I'll use that.  Or a lot of them have worked in construction so I'll make up a math word problem using measurements of concrete.

-If you're a hop, skip and a jump away from some place but you really bound far on your skip, do you think you need a jump anyway?:  I might need a push.

-Trained as a priest, you left that vocation to work elsewhere.  Could you help yourself to as much sacramental wine as you wanted?:  No, nor do I now.
-What's a good cheese pairing with sacramental wine?:  Swiss because it's holy.