January 14: Eggies and bottle of David Stone Shiraz

Saturday, January 14, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:32 PM
Given to Audrey from Annie.
What an eggs-cellent gift
Have you ever seen the advertisements for people who ride to the top of those ginormous pyramid schemes and smash their alarm clocks because they'll never work another day for a boss in their life again?  Usually, it feels like you're watching instant reply from a football game because the camera captures the busted alarm clock from like six different angles.

I feel the same kinda thing's going on here with the Eggies based on the package's claim that one will "NEVER PEEL a Hard-Boiled Egg Again!"  If you've never seen Eggies, you crack open a raw egg, dump it into an egg-shaped container, then drop in hot water and cook.  Take it out and--PRESTO!--you've got a shell-less hardboiled egg.  I can see the advertisements for Eggies with people crushing the egg shells with their bare hands in repeated slow motion.  More realistically, though, is the B-rate actors sighing and shrugging and throwing the egg aside on the table because peeling off an eggshell is just tooooo difficult.

Excited at the prospect of saving her fingers and brain all that frustration is future starlet Audrey.

Renewed her copy of Rick Steves'
Budapest in the nick of time
Audrey
-Profession: Actress; waitress

-Favorite way to eat an olive: marinated in brine and herbs...kalamata is my fave

-Out of 100 tables, how many ask for or leave you their number?: Maybe five.  I wait on a lot of old wealthy people and young married wealthy people and their kids.  The stats aren't in my favor.

-Tell me an order of someone that you've got stuck in your head and can't let go of:  I have a million orders in my head.  A favorite is half-sized oatmeal with blueberries, another with some grainy seeds something on top (like flax), one milk for both orders, usually the reused portion of yesterday's brown sugar they had saved, dark-and-stormy coffee, and dry rye toast.  They always left a good tip and were the staff's favorite customers.

-Let's see your acting skills.  A mustachioed villain is tying you up on some train tracks.  What do you say to get out of the situation?:  Ohh...ahhh...I forgot to return my library books!