March 6: 70s-era Crockpot

Tuesday, March 6, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 11:40 PM

Given to Kate from John.

Here's something you can make at home in your crock pot: Steak Catherine
Ingredients:
-4 beef tenderloins, cut into 1/3 inch slices
-3 TBS butter
-1 cup sliced mushrooms
-1 TBS minced shallots
-1 TBS minced parsley
-3/4 cup vegetable or beef broth
-salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
-heat butter in a skillet and sear the tenderloin slices
-place all ingredients in the crock pot and cook on low 6 to 8 hours or on high for 4 to 5 hours.

Kate
-Profession: Associate Registrar

-Favorite tooth: My favorite tooth...eye tooth?

-Your maiden name is Police. Which of the following is a Police song?: B! [Correct]
A)Where are the handcuffs?
B) King of Pain
C) Every Bread You Take

-Which political figure has a picture of Catherine the Great in his/her office?: A--John Boehner! [No! It is C]
A) John Boehner
B) Fidel Castro
C) Angela Merkel

You are pregnant. It is a faux pas to ask women if they are pregnant in case they are not. Have people asked you the reverse and wondered if you're simply a little plump?: No, people will ask though if I'm pregnant and they are like...ohh, I shouldn't have asked that, right?

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March 5: Starbucks Blonde roast, Valentine tumbler, and giftcard

Monday, March 5, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 9:09 PM

Given to John from Rachel.

I met Rachel about a month ago when my friend LeeAnn and I stopped into Starbucks to chat about Ryan Gosling's acting career. When in line, I told Rachel about the blog and asked for her participation, to which she immediately jumped at the chance--date undetermined at that point. A couple of weeks later, I still had a Sunday to fill and popped over to see if she could provide a gift for the following day.

She wasn't working, but a colleague with blond hair and a nose piercing was. As I found out last evening, my perforated friend immediately texted Rachel, wondering who I was and what this gift exchange was all about. Two weeks and several laughs later, Rachel and I got to sit down last evening for her exchange date.

John
-Profession: IT Geek

-Favorite keyboard shortcut: Control-Alt-Delete

-Alternate title for what you really do: Someone lists me as "The Amazing John" in their address book.

-People who work on computers often have a wild & crazy side. Do you have one?: Yes, I could tell you many stories. My friend and I once drove from Warren, Ohio to Mexico City in two days.

-You're our seventh bearded gift exchanger. Are you jolly?: Yeah, I'm pretty jolly.

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March 4: Joe Tait Bobblehead Doll

Sunday, March 4, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 9:23 PM

Given to Rachel from Greg.

If you're unfamiliar with the NBA or Cleveland, Ohio, then you probably haven't heard of Joe Tait. For those of you who haven't, he is a legendary radio play-by-play broadcaster for the Cleveland Cavaliers and he recently retired this past season. I don't know if he's Richard Burton "phonebook" worthy (that is, you could listen to actor Richard Burton read the phonebook all day), but I'd certainly be happy listening to him read the instructions on installing a new color print cartridge in my HP Deskjet 940c printer.

Rachel
-Profession: Starbucks Shift Supervisor (try saying that 3x fast)

-Favorite salutation: Sláinte, which means 'cheers' in Irish

-Tell me something other than basketball that you'd like to have Joe Tait do the play-by-play for: All of my travelogues to Ireland, Scotland, Jamaica, Italy and England.

-Can you recall a Starbucks work dream?: It was a regular dream where I was hanging out with friends, but all the timers for the coffee kept on going off. I thought I had to get back to work!

-Write a cinquain about a barista:

Brewer
Diva-like, strong
Creating, fascinating, amazing
Most genuine person ever
Coffee maker

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March 3: Mini porcelain shoe, Votive heart candle and Christmas Yankee Candle

Saturday, March 3, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 2:40 PM

Given to Greg from Diane.

Greg's evil step-sisters are vying for one of these

-"Who even keeps a miniature porcelain shoe around?" asks Greg. "Diane," I reply.
-"Who throws a shoe?", wonders Greg. "Random Task in Austin Powers," I answer.
-"Who wears a shoe?" ponders Greg. "Anyone who wants service in a restaurant," I say.
-"When was the shoe invented?" inquires Greg. "After socks," I tell him.
-"Why do my stiletto heels give me blisters?" asks Greg. "Because a stiletto heel puts too much pressure on your feet, given their length and width. A wedge heel would help," I respond.

Steals guest soaps and towels

Greg
-Profession: Hotel builder; architect

-Favorite kind of groundcover: Pine straw

-What kind of smack do you talk when you're building hotels on Avenues Oriental, Connecticut, and Vermont?: Bitch, don't come on my lawn.

-Sometimes you feel like a nut, which, for you, would be: Smoked almond, wasabi flavored

-Sometimes you don't, which would be what?: Jif Creamy peanut butter [peanuts are legumes]

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March 2: The Physics of Superheroes book

Posted by 366 White Elephants at 12:13 AM

Given to Diane from Daniel.

Forward by Dr. Bruce Banner

The last time I sat down and read a comic book was maybe when I was 16. I enjoyed and still enjoy the brightly-colored costumes and special powers (in particular, Wonder Woman's omni-linguism) and will see the movies when they come out in the theaters. And that's where I end it. Why, oh why, would I want to know the how pliable Plastic Man's elongated neck is? Or how fast a cyclone Red Tornado can generate? In fact, Daniel said he couldn't read it for this very reason as well.

The natural extension of a book like this would be something like Dating for Dummies by the cast of Friends or Counseling Tips from Star Trek: The Next Generation's Deanna Troi by Marina Sirtis or Get Amazing Arms by Popeye. Umm, ain't happening people.

However, cannot imagine herself
with a fu manchu

Diane
-Profession: Database Manager

-Favorite # on a di: 2

-What feature would you add to a person's record in the database to make it more interesting: Their favorite movie

-You've been in your current job for 15 years. What amenity do you really want?: A popcorn machine that makes kettle corn, cheese corn, and butter-flavored popcorn.

-Do you have difficulty or ease in imagining men or women with or without facial hair?: Ease. My brother grew a beard, then shaved it, then grew it back. I got used to it and could visualize him with or without it. You'd look all right with a close-cropped beard.

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March 1: Bath & Body Works Assortment: Cucumber Body Wash, Wild Honeysuckle Body Wash and Dancing Waters soap

Thursday, March 1, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 11:46 PM

Given to Daniel from Jen.

My guy friends and I enjoy a nice-smelling girl when we come across one. Collectively, I refer to all of the Bath & Body Works and Victoria Secret scrubs, lotions, and washes simply as "girl smell". It could be "Hungarian Breeze" and it would still be "girl smell" to me. In due fashion, I will splash on a drop or two of my Calvin Klein cologne when I'm out with a love interest. All this makes sense to me. Amplify pheromones, turn heads, and put asses in the seats when you walk by.

What I don't understand are women (and a minority pack of men) out there who wish to smell like potpourri. What I also don't understand are the "unisex" fragrances. On a vacation one year, Daniel was out of shampoo and had to use his friend's sister's shampoo which smelled like tropical fruit. His friend kept thinking his sister was around the whole time. So if you're wearing a unisex fragrance, someone would be like, "You smell like Dylan", when in fact your name is Jill or vice versa. Chaos would erupt.

Wife says: "Clean this up..."

Daniel

-Profession: Bridge Builder

-Favorite kind of pain reliever/fever reducer: Excederin

-You build bridges with steel and concrete. How can you build them with people?: Alcohol. People think my title is metaphorical and that I'm some kind of people connector.

-Do you tear up when you watch The Bridges of Madison County?: I've never seen the movie. But I think they should make The Great Bridge by David McCullough into a movie. It's quite a good story.

-Your 25 year old parrot Lewis is trained to talk. What kind of things does he know how to say?: If we startle him in the middle of the night, he'll say "Be quiet". He likes it when I do chores and I keep him perched on my shoulders when I do them, such as emptying out the dishwasher. He'll approve and say, "Right Now".

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February 29: 5 Elvis CDs, Dick Van Dyke Show DVD, Black Amethyst cream, Bottle of Lonz wine, and Senior Moments book

Wednesday, February 29, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 11:51 PM

Given to Jen from Kathy.

Today's a leap day in case you hadn't realized it and, according to Irish legend, it was the day that women could propose to men. Evidently our heroine St. Bridget struck a deal with St. Patrick where he consented to having women pop the question on bended knee. Men would have to pay women a fine if they did not accept the woman's proposal and would have to fashion 12 pairs of gloves to hide the woman's embarrassment in not having any bling. Personally, if I were a girl, I'd settle for some rainbow-striped toe socks to hide how embarrassing my feet look.

Jen
-Profession: Mom, Server

-Favorite surface to drive on: Brick

-You received a book of senior moments; your co-worker told me about a long hair on your face that went unnoticed. Is there a link between the two?: I need a drink

-Do you ever camp out under the warming lamps to stay warm during the winter?: Yes, my arms for sure and sometimes my head.

-Five Elvis CDs is a lot. Put together a coherent idea using the titles of three Elvis songs: 'I just can't help believin'- 'I got a woman'- 'pledging my love'.

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