I have a gym membership and so does Reggie; it's a happy coincidence that we also belong to the same one. What's not a happy coincidence is being witness to tonight's sighting. It's not a long account, it's not necessary dramatic either. It happened. I want to forget it. And I want the gym to replace all the hair dryers in the men's locker room. It can't be any more simple than that. Oh, and I'd like them to excommunicate this member not just from the gym Reggie and I belong to, but every gym within a 140 mile radius.
Here's the sitch: A member was using a hair dryer to dry his genital hair. Yeah, you read it right. He treated the dryer like it was a CT machine, circling around the area every which way until he recreated Sahara-like conditions below his equator.
Good genital hair drying sir, if you have too much hair, buy a razor or borrow your wife's and cut. If you have a moisture problem, consult WebMD because I don't know how to help you.
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| Asks TSA to frisk him before every shift |
-Profession: United Airlines customer service
-Favorite seat #: 2A
-Reggie Montgomery was a character in All My Children. What do you think his biggest vice was?: Smoking. He would smoke menthols. And he smokes only when he drinks. Yeah, he's a joint smoker and a drinker, but he's not a chain smoker because he's not an alcoholic.
-RGGI is an acronym for the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative and is pronounced "Reggie". What greenhouse gas gives them the most headaches?: Methane because there are so many cows and they can't control the cow population.
-What amenity from yesteryear would you like to see back on airplanes?: Free food in coach.
