June 16: Chivas Regal Scotch Whiskey gift set

Given to E.J. from Bill.

All E.J. needs now is some old leather furniture and a pipe
to round the gift set out

I've seen people grinning ear to ear after consuming alcohol, but never before it as E.J. was upon receipt of his gift; it will be his celebratory drink after he passes his MCAT, the test that smart people who want to be doctors have to pass before going on to that cakewalk of an education in medical school. When I saw E.J. some time ago, my co-worker thought he had nice shoes (sans pick-up line, I should clarify...and do women even try saying that to men anyway? Where's the current issue of Cosmo?), but that didn't help to ease E.J.'s stressed feeling in studying and cramming and eventually taking this mother of a test.

Bill was getting rid of this fine scotch whiskey set because he got it as a gift from someone who thought he liked alcohol, when truth be told he does not imbibe in spirits of any kind. FYI: The small tagline on this Chivas Regal bottle, which you probably can't see, says it's the "Prince of Whiskies". Bill's preferred drink is Crystal Light because he says only the people who will sit down with you and drink a pouch are actually your friends. I can buy that logic. I kinda do the same thing when I play pick-up basketball. I am a tall pouch of water--a whopping 6'5"--but I'll stoop when we're choosing teams because I only want to the on the team where someone really wants me. They think they're doing me a favor by the pick, but when I block my first four shots and pick the rebounds off the glass with such grace, I will be doing them the favor.

The sultan of gin

E.J.
-Profession: Researcher; Student

-Favorite nocturnal creature: Desert tortoise

-E.J. stands for your full name. But if you were at a party and trying to pick up the ladies, what would you pretend those initials stood for?: The first thing that came to mind was 'extra juicy'. Elton John works, too.

-You and your family have a pet rooster, but without any hen playmates. How would you feel about being under the care of a family of dolphins with no human girls around?: Deprived, yes, and bored. What does that rooster do all day? Lonely.

-In your spare time you work on cars, performing any routine maintenance from changing the oil to fixing the alternator. How many more hours until you become a 'grease monkey apprentice'?: Malcolm Gladwell said in order to be an expert at something you have to spend 10,000 hours doing it. I would say I need 7,500 more hours until I can be an apprentice.