January 11: Love music, lotions, picture frame and iTunes giftcard 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:07 PM
Given to Matt from Lana.
Oh, to be Mrs. Smith...
Dan: Tell me one activity you'll do that incorporates all of these gifts.
Matt:  Well...I'd put a wedding photo up in this nice ladybug frame to remind my wife of why she loves me.  Then, I'd be playing Disc 1, track 5 specifically (Louis Spohr's Romance in B flat major for clarinet and piano) because my wife and I [both musicians] actually played this together before.  I'd make sure I was properly moisturized and scented by wearing these fruity lotions.  Personally, I can use and am thrilled about these.  And I'd have a computer work station set up with iTunes going and we'd pick out some Journey.

I work on Columbus Day as a show
of resistance
Matt
-Profession: Freelance musician

-Favorite explorer: Erik the Red.  He doesn't get as much credit as Columbus, but was more important in terms of discovering the Americas.

-'Matt Smith' yields 248,000,000 results on Google, including the actor Matt Smith who plays Dr. Who.  Where would you travel?:  Well, as a Dr. Who aficionado, it would definitely be in the future.  Going back in time is always bad.  I would say I would go to the last day of Boe.

-You're our third bearded gift exchanger.  Are you jolly?:  Yes, I would say I'm a jolly man.

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January 10: Kardashian Konfidential 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:31 PM
Given to Lana from Steve.
Newest member of Oprah's book club
I won't spill all the juicy gossip, but in this page-turner, you'll learn that Kim--while a celeb--still loves to mingle with 'the little people', Khloe lost her virginity at 14, and Jennifer Lopez makes Kim feel it's okay to have a 'big booty'.  Plus, you'll get diary entries and dating tips!  Personally, I'll wait for Patrick Stewart's audiobook version, but that's just me.

She's really not flipping me off...
honest
"Nobody lay a finger on my..."
oh wait, wrong candy.
Lana
-Profession: Bartender; nursing student
-Favorite way to eat a Reese's:
   I just take a bite!





-Dan:  Both the Beach Boys and Roy Orbison penned songs titled "Lana".  Was that your parents' inspiration in naming you?
-Lana:  No, I had no idea about that.  My full name is actually Svetlana, which means 'sunny person' in Russian.
-Dan:  Do they have white elephant gift exchanges where your family is from in the Ukraine and Russia?
-Lana: No, nothing like this.  But at New Year's, people re-gift presents they've had lying around three or four years.

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January 9: Ceramic Cheetah Head 

Monday, January 9, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 8:38 PM
Given to Steve from Elise.
Steve: "Look at the teeth on that thing!"

Doesn't it make you feel good when you know a handcrafted ceramic cheetah head will find a comfortable home on someone's living room end table?  That is the promise Steve made to me upon receipt of his gift.  The top opens up to store candy, as is his intention.  Here are some other suggestions for storage:
-lunchbox
-compost bin
-inconspicuous hiding spot for your marijuana stash
-baking dish for pint-sized Thanksgiving turkey
-church holy water fountain

My wedding present for Kim and
her next rent-a-hubby.
Steve
-Profession: Purveyor of caffeine

-Favorite Kardashian: Khloe

-You're our second bearded gift exchanger.  Are you jolly?: Yes, I'm jolly.

-Most humorous customer complaint: I had a woman working for me who had a raspy voice.  The customer asked if she was sick.  He said he was going on vacation and couldn't get sick--no way that was going to take place.  And if he did get sick, something was going to happen.

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January 8: Swarovski crystal daisy 

Sunday, January 8, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 3:33 PM
Given to Elise from Sandy.

Rapid Reax: "It's much better than I thought it would be!"


Why, hello...
Elise
-Profession: Pastry Chef
-Favorite kind of flour: buckwheat
-Why pastry chefs wear puffy hats: I'll answer that with an analogy.  Crown: King :: Puffy Hat: Pastry Chef
-Dream: To form a blues band with a butcher and a candlestick maker
-6 of 1 or a baker's half-dozen of the other?: I'll take the baker's dozen.  You get 6.5 that way.



Tales from the pantry:  
Turn this man's bread upright...and
you'll find yourself in a cage match







I'm married to a Romanian and in Romania they say it's bad luck to have a loaf of bread sit upside-down.  People turn loaves over if they see that happening.  It's one of those things where no one knows exactly why you do that.  Kind of like when we say 'knock on wood'.

I looked into this and found that this idea originates in France in the Middle Ages when, in a village, the people would bring their flours to a baker and have him bake their family's bread.  The baker left loaves upside down only for the undertaker or guillotine master because those people were in their own class and kind of left on their own because of the work they did.  The idea to put the loaves upright is to disassociate yourself with death.

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January 7: Camouflage Snuggie 

Saturday, January 7, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 2:48 PM
Given to Sandy from Ray.

All it needs now is a cooler for your beers and sodas
A snuggie is the kind of gift you probably wouldn't actively seek out and purchase for yourself, but one you're glad to get.  Serendipitously, Sandy's came with extra room for a snuggle-mate.
I love you thhiissss much!
Interested?  Here's Sandy's bio-turned-personal ad.

Sandy
-Profession: Resident Physician
-Favorite organ: The heart.  There's a really special bond when the patient is quiet and I'm really focused on listening to the person's heart sound.
-Member of the family she refuses to treat: dogs and other pets

-Q: When you see people here in the States with Chinese tattoos, is it completely hilarious?
-A: Yes.  There's this one guy I know who has a tattoo for the Chinese symbol of 'strength'.  But, it's backwards.  It doesn't mean anything when the symbol is reversed.
-Q: Do Chinese people get English words tattooed on themselves?
-A: Yes.  It's hilarious. Chinese people will get 'love', 'truth', and 'peace', etc tattoos.  However, it's much harder to tattoo them backwards.

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January 6: Knit cap, necklace, scarf and bracelet 

Friday, January 6, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:51 PM
Given to Ray from Amanda.
Oh, snap!
If you can accessorize for a cross-dressing party 8 months in advance, you've had a good gift exchange.  As it happens, Ray is going to such a party and got the dream package of the year with a knit cap, tasteful necklace, a scarf that matches his complexion, and a wooden bracelet, which he broke trying to slide over his hand.  It took him a few tries to get the necklace latched.  He did manage, however, to put the knit cap and scarf on like a pro.

pre-pimp photo
Ray
-Profession: Consulting Engineer
-Favorite type of wood: maple ('cause skateboards are made of it)
-Signature basketball move: look-away, followed by two-handed layup
-Age when getting first tattoo: 20
-Worst tattoo for a girl: unicorn
-Worst tattoo for a guy: Tasmanian Devil or Calvin & Hobbs

Ray's worst nightmare






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January 5: Vera Wang princess basket 

Thursday, January 5, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:52 PM
Given to Amanda from Emily.

I had a moment of truth today.  I gave serious thought to prematurely ending this blog on a high note--taking this Vera Wang smörgåsbord and keeping all for me, me, me.  But poor Amanda...what on Earth would she do?  I may know a good find when I see one (especially the tiara), but I'm no heartbreaker.  And so we continue on.

In case you can't make out the goodies, here's your guide:  Left to right: diary, mini purse, tiara, rolled-up shirt.
Temptation takes many forms



Amanda
-Profession: Keys and IDs
-Favorite way to eat a potato: French Fries
-Hidden talent: gospel singer
-Intended use for tiara: birthday par-tays, c'mon!

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