March 20: 1970s Chromed-Plated Serving Tray and a Shin-Soo Choo Bobblehead Doll

Wednesday, March 21, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 1:17 AM
Given to Faith from Ken.

I stumbled upon a rare time capsule--one that gives modern-day sociologists an insight into the dating practices of people in the 1970s.  If you take a closer look at the box that the chrome-plated serving tray came in, you'll see a demure-looking woman with a sprawling set of other chrome-plated objects, such as a butter dish and candlestick holders, that seem to float in mid-air at knee height.  Shift your focus to the left side of the box where you have four pictures: a round serving tray; a handle tray; a two-tier tray (like this one); and a three-tier tray.


Much like the 3-star Michelin system that the French use for grading restaurants, men would evaluate their prospects by giving them one of the four chrome pieces.  A 'three-tier tray' meant the woman was all that and a bag of potato chips, while a simple 'handle tray' meant that she was the gender equivalent of a jeep.  A simple 'round serving tray'--the lowest of the four grades (and no rating)--was given only in the direst of circumstances and for people who managed aquariums for a living.


Faith
-Profession: Receptionist

-Favorite decade: The 90s

-If you're feeling a bit under the weather, does Hope fill in for you?:  She should!  I just try to push through it...(sigh).

-You carry around 'gamer dice', which are normally used in role playing video games.  A real-life instance where you've used them?:  If I don't know what I want on the dollar menu at drive thru's, I roll out my 10-sided di.  I do dares with them, too.  Like if it's over or under a certain percentage.  Then you might have to drink Mountain Dew.

-Speaking of role play, does a fantasy game ever carry over into real life?:  Sometimes I'll be so into it and tell my roommate or whoever and they just look back at you like "what is going on with you?  You know you're just pretending, right?"

March 19: $20 Barnes & Noble Giftcard

Monday, March 19, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:46 PM
Given to Ken from Chris.

I loved Ken's comment when I presented his Barnes & Noble gift card: "This isn't the one that closed, is it?"

"Midge makes delicious green bean
casserole," says Ken.
Ken
-Profession: Food and Beverage Management

-Favorite kind of paper towel:  Bounty

-Is your underwear permanently molded to your body?:  No.  That's not the case.

-You worked for Wolfgang Puck in Las Vegas.  Did he greet you in German?:  No, he didn't greet me in German, but he swore in German a lot.

-You also worked for Subway.  Rumors are persisting that Jared has been reassigned to the mail room.  Do you know anything about this?:  Not true.  He's a nice guy.  Speaking of rumors, there were these rumors in the media that he gained a lot of weight.  I saw him like a week later and he looked great.

March 18: The Big-Ass Book of Crafts and a Bike Navigator Bell

Sunday, March 18, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:59 PM
Given to Chris from Molly.
The Little-Ass Book of Crafts has 40% less craft projects
"What am I going to do with this?" asks Chris upon receiving his gift.  He thumbs through the pages, shakes his head, then grunts.  I had perused the book prior to giving it to Chris and I thought the same thing.  Do I have the time/patience to make my own stationary? [side note: I just scent my letters with some Axe body spray.]

The book advertises that it's for any "mood, budget and skill level".  Skill level-check.  Budget-check.  Mood--what does that mean?  I'm feeling high as a kite!  Let me make a patterned tablecloth!  I'm feeling depressed and anti-social.  I guess it's time for me to make a gothic chime.

What if you did the ultimate craft project and got some of those fancy patterned scissors and cut a pattern on the perimeter, then cut a pattern into the binding?  Open it up and--tada!--you've got a snowflake book!

Chris
-Profession: Small Business Owner

-Favorite Dairy Queen treat: Reese's Pieces Blizzard

-How many tropical storms bear your name?: 2?  [There are 5]

-When you're doing a "criss-cross applesauce", what are you doing?:  Playing with my mom's homemade applesauce on my plate.  [Answer: Sitting in a lotus position]

-You have a special connection to frogs?:  The town I grew up in is the frog jumping capital of the state. My grandmother always held the contest on her estate.  All these senators and business people would come every year.

March 17: Luck O' The Irish Hot Sauce, Beer soap, and Dill Pickle Popcorn

Saturday, March 17, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 7:24 PM
Given to Molly from Tiffani.

Most people remember where they were on transformative historical days--fall of the Berlin Wall, landing on the moon, the election of Barack Obama.  One of today's gifts--the hot sauce--takes me back to November 12, a day that has been burned into memory and historical unimportance.

I was in college and my cross country teammates and I were enjoying a post-practice meal.  One of the freshman runners--Hank (whose last name shall remain omitted for his own protection)--declared to the table that he was going to drink a whole 5 fl. oz bottle of McIlhenny's tabasco sauce like a shot.  Well, he did it and...I don't think he was able to lay down for at least a week.

Whenever I see a bottle of hot sauce, I think of November 12 and the poor custodial workers.

Molly
-Profession: Cook, Urban Farmer

-Favorite Spring Vegetable: Dandelion Greens

-Molly Mormon is a stereotypical name for a female member of the Church or Latter Day Saints.  There are two companies, Molly Gear and Shameless Humor, who make items specifically geared toward Molly Mormons.  What do you think they make?:  Molly Gear--orthopedic shoes and support stockings. Shameless Humor--curtains.

-Have you ever experimented with food and have a dish completely flop?:  I tried to make a lemon sauce with onions.  It was not very good.

-Can you come up with at least five dishes using some or all of the following: sugar, eggs, flour, water, oil, lemons, mustard, asparagus?:
-1) quiche; 2) pretzels with a nice mustard dipping sauce; 3) crostini; 4) steamed asparagus with lemon sauce; and 5) crackers

March 16: Italian-made Ceramic Bowl

Friday, March 16, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 11:03 PM
Given to Tiffani from Rosann.
It's not Tiffany, but she likes ceramic
Tiffani was thrilled with her Italian-made ceramic bowl because of some domestic trouble she's having.  Her boyfriend, she says, fills the bowls and baskets around their apartment with other items that belong to him.  For example, her bread basket contains his apple supply.

Tiffani's problem got me thinking about bread bowls.  Is a bread bowl not the perfect system for holding food?  Eat your soup or salad in the bowl fashioned out of bread, then eat the bowl, and you have nothing left.  Nothing to clean.  Nothing to store.

My unsolicited advice to Tiffani and any of you reading that if you have a significant other who stores his/her food in your bowls is this:   Have a garage sale and sell all your bowls.  Make some coin and use that money throughout the year to buy flour so you can make bread bowls.  Then offer to store kiwis, trail mix, holy water, and whatever else your significant other has that needs holding.

Bowls, not life, have come between
her and her boyfriend
Tiffani
-Profession: Graduate Student

-Favorite kind of Kool-Aid: Strawberry Kiwi...and now I want some!

-When you get into minor arguments with friends of yours, what do you call those disagreements?: Tiffs

-Your initials are TBA.  When you host a party or tell someone when you're coming over, do you say TBA just to mess with them?:  Oh yes, I mess with people.  I worked in a doctor's office and had to initial stuff and put mine on a document once.  This woman just went off and asked, "What is going on here?"

-What do people eat for breakfast at your home?:  I make a mean French Toast.  And we'll have Bloody Mary's.

March 15: Homer Simpson Trivia Game

Posted by 366 White Elephants at 7:44 AM
Given to Rosann from Beth.

This Homer Simpson game looks like it'd be fun and all, except for the two people who posted reviews on Amazon.com that said it was "tough" and "hard".  Obviously, those people aren't getting a Jeopardy try-out any time soon.  While on Amazon, I perused other TV show-turned-board games and found that there was a smattering of them for nearly every flavor of show--from Grey's Anatomy to How I Met Your Mother.  If you wanted a TV game that was really tough and hard, Hasbro should make one for Walker, Texas Ranger.  Instead of collector tin, the game would come in a makeshift wooden casket.  And instead of having a mini poster included, I'd think they should put in a Chuck Norris strap on beard.  Then no one would mess with you.


Rosann
-Profession: City Economic Development Director

-Favorite Time Zone: The one I'm in!

-In your position as City Economic Development Director, have you considered having a city-wide cactus sale to raise dollars?:  No.

-Tell me at least one thing you have in common with Homer:  I never watched the show!  But I like donuts.

-Today is March 15, the Ides of March.  Have you noticed the Mayor acting a little more paranoid that usual?:  I haven't seen him.  Hmm...

March 14: Asian desktop pen holder

Wednesday, March 14, 2012 - Posted by 366 White Elephants at 10:08 PM
Given to Beth from Claudio.

The ghosts of gift exchange past and future reared their ugly heads this evening.  A transcription of their comments:

-Distant past: Claudio: "This is lovely and really unique gift.  I will treasure it forever."
-Recent past: Claudio, on March 13: "This thing was sitting in my office for two years."

-More recent past: Beth, on March 14: "This will go great with everything else in my office.  Let me fill it with pens!"
-Distant future: Beth: "This thing has been sitting in my office for two years."

Pat Sajak gives "limp fish" handshakes
Beth
-Profession: Den mother to college students

-Favorite ambient temperature: 78 degrees Fahrenheit

-As a former Deadhead, do you reminisce when you eat Cherry Garcia ice cream?:  I love it, but I don't get sentimental over it.

-You were once a contestant on Wheel of Fortune.  Did the wheel give you motion sickness?:  No, but it's a lot heavier than I thought.  I didn't get to solve any puzzles either.  I remember being seven months pregnant and they made me stand on several boxes.  I looked like a gargantuan next to the others.

-Kazoos have a special meaning for you?:  I used to play my kazoo at my son's baseball games.  We would go to Eden, NY to the American Kazoo Museum.  It was great.  And right next to the Jell-O museum.